This is a question I ask myself lately.
As many of you know, I am what I like to call a "sort-of" convert. Meaning I was in the church, left the church, and came back to the church.
For some reason...especially lately, I feel like I am just not Mormon enough.
I feel inferior to those who stayed faithful to the church their whole lives.
(Even though had I stayed faithful, I might never had met Daniel. I know we are meant together. This was what we were meant to do. We had to leave the church to realize exactly what we wanted.)
I feel inferior to those who were married in the Temple.
(Even though I loved our wedding and our sealing was incredibly special.)
I feel inferior to those who waited to start their families.
(Even though I am extremely grateful fo my little Gracie and I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world)
I feel inferior.
No matter what I do...
I read the scriptures. I read lds.org. I read talks by our Prophets, I even have a favorite outside of our President Thomas S. Monson -- Uchtdorf (of course!) I do the prep work for Sunday school so I can participate. I pray daily. I support Daniel as the Priesthood leader in our house. I now support him in his new calling. We go to church every Sunday and attend all the meetings. I try to be as much of a member as I can be. I am forgiving those who I have been hurt by because our Heavenly Father asks us to. I volunteer for service and I help out those who I can. I try to be a spiritual person. I try to be the kind of Mormon that I look up to, like my friend Becca, my friend Caitlin, my mother-in-law DiAnna. I try to be the kind of Mormon that my Heavenly Father would be proud of.
And don't get me wrong, I don't do any of these things to get callings or get an acknowledgement. I do them because that's the right thing to do, and that's what our Heavenly Father asks us to do...
...But it seems like I am just doing something wrong. Like no one is taking me seriously as a Mormon, or that I am not the "right kind" of Mormon.
And to be honest, it bothers me that I haven't got a calling, or been asked to talk in church (yes! I want to talk in church!)...and others who just got to our church just got callings...and now Daniel got his calling. (Which I am incredibly GRATEFUL and HAPPY for and feel so very blessed to have such a great man in leading our household.)
It makes me wonder what I am doing wrong. I've been praying and praying about it and I just keep getting the answer to be patient and help where I can...
but this keeps eating at me and makes me ask myself--am I Mormon enough?