This is not necessarily not true...
Before Gracie, I didn't even WANT kids.
That doesn't have anything to do with how I feel about Gracie and as soon as I found out I was pregnant with her I knew I was meant to be a mommy.
I am 100% glad that I had Gracie.
She's the coolest person in the world. She's my baby buddy and
I love her to pieces. I could play with her all day long and not get bored. Love is not a big enough word to encompass how I feel about her.
I can't wait to give her a brother or sister. Maybe two siblings if I am feeling adventurous.
But there is a difference between loving kids and loving your kids.
I get easily overwhelmed with other kids, I don't get that way with Gracie unless she's been crying all day and I can't soothe her.
I don't know what to do with other children, I know exactly what to do with Gracie.
I feel obligated with other peoples kids where as I genuinely WANT to be around Gracie all of the time. She's cool. She's awesome. She's my baby.
And if I mess Gracie up, it's okay because she's my kid. Okay, it's not okay. But it is more okay than messing up someone else's kid.
If Gracie gets hurt than I only have to deal with my guilt about it. If someone else's kid gets hurt in my care--then that's 23580796x worse.
I generally don't like to babysit unless it's a friends baby that I am already acquainted with or my nieces & nephews.
Ignore my weird smile.
That, to me, is suicide.
Which is why Gracie will be 3 or 4 when I have another baby. I need a good age gap where they both don't need diapers changed. Where Gracie is old enough to be excited about the baby and want to help. Where she has her own crafts and activities to do while I take care of the baby. Where she is not completely dependent (and doesn't want to be) on me.
When two babies need to be fed by boob/bottle, need to be changed, need to be put down at exactly the same time, I think I would go nutters. I hope and pray we never have twins.
I don't feel like saying any of this makes me any less of a woman, or a mother.
I know my limitations and I shouldn't & don't feel bad about it.
Some people, like my mother in law or my bestie Becca, are equipped to deal with large amounts of children at any time during the day or whenever anyone needs them to.
I am not one of those people. I know it. I accept it.
I am 100% sure that my family would suffer if I tried it. I just don't have the equipment to be able to handle a lot of children/ children similar in age to Gracie/ children I don't know.
I DO have the equipment to take care of Grace. I have the equipment to be the best mom in the world to her and any other Baby Rice's that come along.
And I am so totally okay with that.