Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Military Life/ Military Wife.

 Being in the Air Force is something Daniel has always wanted to do. I do mean always.

The day he shipped off for Basic. Lots of tears that day. 

He talked about it the very first time he met me.

Daniel leading the pac at BMT graduation. He graduated with Honors and with the Marksmanship medal/ribbon thing. 

He wanted to be in Special Forces (A pararescuer to be exact. yeah, the second most dangerous job in the military, period.) but fortunately for me, he is blue deficient color blind, so he can't go in a plane. That really and seriously bummed him out. I was secretly doing a happy dance...

But, on a whim, he took the DLAB, scored crazy good on it (Seriously, highest his recruiter had seen.), and is now studying at the DLI to become a Cryptologic Linguist. When he is done with training his job will be officially Top Secret. Meaning he can't tell me squat when he comes home from work. That may bother other women, but I think it's really cool. I may ask about his day just to hear him say "I can't tell you. Top Secret." BAHAH.

The family at BMT graduation, Gracie's head is so big! She really didn't have any hair! So crazy, but so cute. 

I will have my very own 007. Sort of.

He is doing SO amazingly well at his language. (Which I don't know if I am allowed to say on here...) It is a really hard language that a lot of people are struggling with in his class. He is taking to it so quickly! It's a little scary how fast he is picking it up and I can tell he is having fun with it.

 I am just so proud of him and how smart he is and just how great of a husband/father/provider he is.

But here is where I falter: Daniel is also an Airman Leader. He volunteered for it. He thought I said I was okay with it. I didn't. Not much I can do about it now.

He was a green rope, which meant he was in charge of his own squad thingy. That took a lot of time away from our already limited family time. I was not happy.

To get promoted to the different ropes you have to get certain things done. So Daniel has had to volunteer a lot and do other things that give him "bullets" on a thing for not only promotion within Airman Leadership but in the Air Force period.

Now he has been promoted to a yellow rope, which now only takes a day away from family time. Which stinks, but it's better than green rope.

He will probably be promoted to a red rope (the highest one.) in a few months.

He is showing the commanders he is a good man and a good Airman, and he's getting noticed and I am SO proud of him.

But all this good attention kinda sucks because he got volun-told he was going to do the Joint Service Board thing, and he has to study a lot for it, and it will take days out of ONE of our only TWO weeks of vacation a YEAR. So, I am not a happy camper. BUT if he wins, he will be Airman of the Quarter. How cool is that? 

You would think knowing this could get him promoted to a Senior Airman quicker, thus meaning a quicker time to be promoted to a Staff Sergeant--which means more money for us--would make me excited and happy!

In a way, it does. Daniel is doing what he needs to do to provide for his family and again, I am proud that he is getting noticed for being the amazing guy that he is.

But it's really hard for me.

Daniel and I have only been married a year and a half. We have only been living on OUR OWN and TOGETHER for 8-9 months. We need time together!

There are days where he has a ton of homework and I literally only get to talk to him for about 15 minutes before we go to bed. Though lately, he does a good job of doing most of it on the bus so he can spend more time with us! So add extra duties to that and it's even shorter amount of time. On days like that, I usually take care of Gracie 100% from sun up to sun down. That is really hard, because on some days, I truly need a break. I know Daniel doesn't like those days at all, either. Granted, one of those days hasn't happened in awhile, but the extra stuff really does cut down on our family time. 

Sometimes I think I  would have preferred if he just flew under the radar for a bit so that we could have as much time as we possible could together. But then I know that's stupid and I don't ever want to hinder Daniel's progress. I only want to help him succeed and be recognized for being amazing.

But I want US to be the number one, not the U.S. He is married to me first, not the Air Force. Sometimes, with all his responsibilities, it seems that the military gets more of him than I do.

That really eats at me.

I know that life won't be like this in the operational Air Force (Daniel is still in training status, even though his training is more than a year long. blurgh.), or so Daniel says...and I am anxiously awaiting the day we move to our first duty station.

The military is very tricky. I grew up in it so you'd think I would know this.

But you never ever EVER really know what you are getting in to until you are in it.

Every situation is different.

I do love a man in uniform ;) That green ropey thing will be yellow in a few days. (Meaning he got promoted up a rope.) 

But, I do realize that when he signed on that dotted line, in a way, so did I.

And in the grand scheme of military responsibility, we are VERY lucky at the moment. At least he isn't deployed...*knock on wood*

I signed up to support Daniel in all that he does. I signed on to be there for him through it all, even when I don't like it.

I gotta suck it up, and just deal with it. I have to be the supportive wife because Daniel deserves at least that. I know he'd suck it up for me.

I am sure when we are forty and living in a house with heated floors and pool,  I will look back on this and be grateful that he started climbing the successful ladder early.

Till then...


  1. I know how you feel girl. I grew up as a military brat {in fact my maiden is Rice lol} so you would think I would be use to it all. My husband has been in 12 years {together for 7 of it} and I still have a hard time "sharing" him with the military, but they gotta do what they gotta do!

    When I read your blog a few months back, I was going to ask if you knew my friend Christina because she & her husband were stationed in the same area. And then I read this post and you probably do! He's at DLI too but graduated last week for Korean. Small world! Good luck to you & your hubby! He's got a great career ahead of him :)


  2. It's great that Daniel is doing so well in his field. I totally get where you're coming from though. Dustin is gone for long hours most days and it's hard to be by yourself with a baby all day long! I really admire military wives--you ladies don't have it easy, but those of us that are blessed by their sacrifices to protect our freedom sure are appreciative. :)

  3. Major military wife love.
    The entire post I was saying a silent "Amennnnnn"!
    My husband wanted to be in the Air Force forever, too! His best friend wanted to be in pararescue--didn't make it. My hubby is super bright and now has a cool clearance and lots of secrets, too!!
    Tech school was the hardest, in my opinion. Mine was a black rope, top of his class, yada yada, and it's exhausting.
    Hang in there.
    Trust me, when he's a babyface SSgt and making SSgt pay because airman of the quarter and BTZ, and he's so young but in charge of people, you'll look at this time in awe. I can't imagine doing tech school while married with a baby--it was so hard 2,000 miles apart, with me working full time and being in school full time... Yet we made it and so will you.
    It's so fun having brainy, awesome husbands, even if it means they have to do a ton of extra training.
    Training sucks. I love my husband being in the military. No "it's not a 9-5 job" complaints from me. But training sucks. It's horrible. But it will one day be over.

  4. I can't even imagine! I got addicted to Army Wives for a few weeks and even though it is a dramatization, it is something that I never think I could do, and I admire the wives (like you) who are supporting a husband like that!


  5. This is such a great post. Hang in there. It will get better. There are still certain things he will be able to tell you and talk to you about when he comes home from work (I have the clearance he will be getting). Life away from Tech School is so much easier. There is always going to be certain things expected of course, but you don't have to do it right now. Good luck (:

    Oh, deployments aren't that bad being AF. I am deployed right now... It is just 12 hours shifts, but there is WIFI in the rooms and plenty of time to Skype, it is a decent connection, not great but not horrible either. Plus, you get 1 day off a week, depending on the schedule, you could have 2 off. I see Linguists all the time in the building I work on. They have an amazing job. The language is not that big of a secret, it is everything else that comes with the job.

  6. That's interesting that he can still be in the air force even though he can't go up in a plane. Hal always thought he would join the air force, but he has really bad allergies and can't go up in a plane because of that. But I don't want him to join the military for all of the reasons you listed and more. We had been married for 4 years when he started his new program and had 0 time for me and it was still really hard. Just keep reminding yourself that this isn't forever. Someday you'll have more time together. I tell myself that all the time.


Thanks for taking the time to say something back! :) One sided conversations are never any fun! :) Thanks for reading!