Monday, March 31, 2014

Blessed Stress

I am sitting here across the breakfast table from Gracie, as she sticks yogurt and her fork up her nose simultaneously, eating a pancake and her foot is on the table. She really is quite talented, that one.



I am grateful for the serenity that breakfast brings. She usually eats breakfast with gusto and silently except for the occasional mmmmmm! I know that what follows breakfast lately has been a tornado storm of a day that has me begging for bedtime.

With all the changes in the last month for Gracie, she is of course, acting out. She throws WAY more fits now; gillions a day in fact. Last night she threw such a fit that she smacked her head on the tile and that pretty much ended her fits for the night, of course it was minutes from bedtime anyway. (Although my mother in law mimicking everything Grace was doing was pretty hysterical.) It has honestly been a real struggle with her lately. I can't do anything right for her, and she's been watching WAY WAAAAYY more movies than normal lately because it's the ONLY thing that stops the screaming.

Yes, that IS my kid throwing a fit in the middle of Cafe Rio. 

She has also decided she's only going to eat a handful of things. Her normal list of about 22 things has shrunk to about 8. That's been fun.

Plus, hearing Grace ask for her daddy has been completely heart-breaking. I miss him so much and hearing that Gracie knows he's supposed to be here makes it worse. I hate that he is missing my birthday, too.

All the stuff going on with the house...man. Buying a house is CRAZY stressful. Like...ridiculous. Especially because we are clear across the country and we won't see the house in person until we step foot in it. THAT is scary. But luckily our realtor is doing all he can to show us as much of the house as humanly possible before we get there. Right now, the house is in underwriting so it's definitely a stressful time. Because as anyone that has ever bought a house knows: underwriting is where the loan falls through most of the time. It's also extra stressful because if they need anything signed by Daniel, or anything done that only Daniel can do, it takes at least two extra days for him to get it to the bank. With all this house business, I won't even let myself get excited about the house because last time I did that, it fell through. I don't think I will get excited until we close. Then I can breathe a sigh of relief and start planning the flowers.

As I was listing all of my stressors off for Daniel the other night, I realized how self-absorbed, greedy and ungrateful I sounded.

Grace is going through a really hard time right now with all the changes and not having her best friend (her dad) around. So she's entitled to a few fits, and even with the fits, she's still a good kid with a lot of love who is so stinkin' smart. As bad as it is sometimes, it could definitely be worse.

Daniel is gone for awhile, but gosh dang it, it's not that long. He's not deployed; he is safe and he will be back before Gracie's birthday. He would have to work on my birthday anyway, so I am not gonna pretend it's that big of a deal. There are women out there that are gonna miss anniversaries and all birthdays that year with their spouse. One of my good friends husband has been deployed for a year, her sacrifice and struggle put mine into perspective a zillion percent. I don't have a struggle, I have an inconvenience.

I miss him, so stinking much. SO much. SO SO SO much. Seeing how much Gracie misses him hurts my heart. But I know we will be reunited soon and we are lucky for that knowledge.

As for the house...FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. The fact that we are 23 and 22 respectively and are even in the process of buying our first house is INSANE. We are SO lucky and SO blessed to have this stress! SO stinkin' lucky.

Everything that is a stress in my life is really a blessing. I really am starting to think that everything in life is a blessing, you just have to step back and see it.

We are so lucky to be learning these lessons that will make us grow as a family and all of this will only strengthen us.

I am so grateful for my life. I really truly am.

Also VERY thankful for Skype.
xox

Tanika




2 comments:

  1. I love this so much! My husband is going to be gone for 7 weeks soon and I keep telling myself "this is not a deployment.. This is not a deployment.. This is not a deployment." :) It could be a lot worse! Thanks for putting things into perspective for me, too!

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  2. The other day I was pouting because my husband had gotten home from a 14 hour work day and gone straight to bed because of a migraine. Then I remembered that, were it not for a crazy series of events, he would be deployed and I was so thankful he was home.

    The military does weird stuff to us, including teaching us to count our blessings.

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