Friday, January 30, 2015

Hi Five for Friday!

Guys I am not going to BS you here, this week has been really kind of crappy and I am glad to have it be over.

1// Today I am going to lunch with a few friends and I can't tell you how sorely it's needed! We are going to Panera and I haven't been to Panera in well over a year. Baby boy will be happy!

2// Speaking of baby boy, his movements are truly starting to hurt sometimes. I never want him to stop moving, obviously. I LOVE feeling him move, I just wish it didn't make me wince or make me want to barf while he did it! But I know I am really headed into the very uncomfortable part of pregnancy so I just need to pull up my boot straps and my big girl panties and just wait for him to get here!!

3// Gracie's pink eye is cleared, thank goodness. It cleared fast and easy and I am grateful. We are still doing the medication for the next few days as a precaution but the kiddo can see out of her eye and there hasn't been any more goop. Hooray!

4// This weekend we are officially turning the toy room into little dude's room. By that I mean all of Gracie's toys are moving into either the living room into a storage box or they are going into her room. It should be interesting but we need to do it and soon! We have to get her used to having toys in her room and have the battle of "Don't play with toys when it's bedtime and naptime!" before the baby gets here so no one loses that much sleep over it. This weekend is that weekend, so wish us luck!

5// On a personal note: I am really struggling lately with life. I am not sure if it's just my normal issues exacerbated by hormones or what, but there hasn't been a day this week that I haven't cried.

There are some family things that are just haunting me and ex-friendships weighing on me. It's hard for me to let go of toxic people, because I see the good parts and don't want to accept the bad. It inspired a lengthy blog post, which helped me get a lot of feelings out, but it still weighs heavily on my heart and on my mind.

I am also getting very emotional thinking about Gracie and the last 2.75 years I have had with her and whether or not I was a good mother to her when it was just us. I am scared of what will happen to our relationship when little dude gets here. I don't want to screw her up, and I don't want to screw up little dude. Being a mom is scary.

Then sometimes I just feel like I am not the wife, daughter or friend that I should be. It sucks not living up to your own expectations and falling down into a pit of suck-i-tude.

I am really hoping next week will be a better week!!

Till then,
TGIF

Tanika

4 comments:

  1. I think I'm the same way with struggling in life lately. Mostly just that I either feel guilty that I'm not able to help with income at the moment or guilty that I feel like leaving my kids with someone else would make me happy sometimes. I think there is a lot of pressure on moms about doing what everyone else thing is right. So this happens to me every month of so, hopefully it's just a little phase you'll work through too!

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  2. Good luck this weekend! I think we are our own toughest critics. Gracie is happy from what I can see, which means she has a strong backing at home. You go mom!

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  3. I hope you have an amazing week this coming week, you deserve it friend!!!

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  4. It's crazy, so many people have been having tough weeks. I hope the next one is better for ALL of us! I hear ya on baby boy kicks starting to hurt. I swear I have a bruise in one spot under my ribs that he kicks constantly since he has turned for birth. Like you said, almost there.

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Thanks for taking the time to say something back! :) One sided conversations are never any fun! :) Thanks for reading!