Falling in love with love
Is falling for make-believe
Falling in love with love
Is playing the fool
Is playing the fool
This is basically how I felt about love before I met Daniel. I was 100% against love, boys, relationships and trusting anyone. He sure had his work cut out for him!
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I know everyone wishes that their love story would start at a Harry Potter Movie Marathon and we were just lucky enough to have that dream come true. Now when anyone asks how we met, we have an immediate and embarrassing conversation starter. I wonder how embarrassed we will be when we are 80 and reciting this story...
Daniel and I should have met WAY earlier than we did, and I often wonder what would have happened if we had met each other in an earlier stage in our lives. We were in the same class in college, we went to a few of the same functions, we lived in the same apartment complex, I had even been in Daniel's apartment but he wasn't home. What if he had been home that day? Would he have dumped his girlfriend at the time and whisked me off into the sunset? We will never know, but I like to think it would be like that scene in Big Fish where time stops when Edward sees the love of his life.
|Like this, only Daniel is Ewan McGregor in this scenario.|
|I mean...the cutest Batman's you have ever seen, right?|
We weren't fated to meet any of those times (yes, I believe in fate) but we met when we needed to. Daniel had just gone through a bad break up and I had just had a bad accident in February and was spiraling out of control because of it.
We both didn't want to go to the movie marathon, but a mutual friend was throwing it and other friends convinced us to go. How crazy is that? To think we would have been thwarted again! Once I saw him and he saw me, he offered me candy and really, that was it. I asked if he would escort me to my friends wedding that weekend (that's right ladies, I asked him.) and to my surprise he said yes. We talked for hours and then I drove him home (he came with a friend, and obviously left his friend behind at the party) he was gentleman enough to not kiss me goodnight. I won't deny wanting him to give me a peck! I could tell on the way home that he was someone special and that he was going to change my life -- I just didn't know how yet.
That Friday came and he came up to the door, looking handsome as heck and I was like 'Daaaang! I sure got a good one!" I wasn't doing bad myself. I was so excited for this date that I got my hair and makeup professionally done and I went and got a dress that I knew would...um...show what I was working with? When I met Daniel I had hardly no makeup on, was wearing frumpy clothes and my hair was a disaster. I wanted him to know he scored a babe and not a bum. Apparently he had the same idea.
That night was out first kiss and it was worth the wait! ;) But it made me very scared of where the relationship was going. I had been really hurt before I met Daniel and I lost all trust in love and definitely lost all trust in men. Daniel was always patient with me, more patient than I think I deserved. He just loved me through all my rap. He told me he was in love with me two weeks after we met on July 30th while we were at Lagoon. I thought he was kidding!! It freaked me OUT so I just sort of ignored it and really just hoped he was kidding. I wasn't sure if I was ready for DATING let along LOVE.
Then a few weeks later he brought it up again and asked why I didn't say anything. I told him that I kinda thought he was kidding...well, as I suspected, he wasn't kidding. I couldn't tell him then that I felt the same way. I was too scared to myself that I even could be. I don't think I was in love yet, but I knew that I had deep feelings and I knew I need to at least admit that to myself. But after what I had been through, I just didn't know if I wanted something serious. We were having a good time and I just didn't want to ruin it with yucky love.
We went through a little bit of a speed bump two months later. Me not being able to communicate with him and not being able to share my feelings kind of took a toll on Daniel and I don't blame him. He never knew where we stood and was always worried I was going to bail on him. But instead of me seeing that I was ruining things, I just said he was getting too attached and tried to let him go. I just didn't think I was ready to be what he wanted me to be. In reality, it was that I was already the person Daniel wanted me to be, I just wasn't letting myself be that person for him.
But then my mother got sick and I found out while we were dealing with out relationship. Even though we were in a rocky spot, he dropped everything he was doing and drove two hours down to my moms with me to make sure she was okay and to make sure I was ok. He kept his respectful distance, never tried to make a move. He was just there to be there for me. That's when I knew. That's when I knew that I loved him. I still wouldn't admit it to him, partly because I couldn't admit it to myself. But looking back now, I can tell that's when I knew.
A week later we found out Iw as pregnant. We were still in a very rocky place when I found out, yet he still came over first thing to see how I was doing and to let me know he was going to do everything he could to be with me, to marry me, and to be the best dad to this baby. He had said before that he wanted to marry me, but then again, that was before the speed bump so I wasn't really sure where we were at. It was a relief to know that I hadn't scared him off with my insecurities or with an unplanned pregnancy.
Everything was good for a month while we worked through our crap and I tried to break down the walls that put us there in the first place. But then the reality of our situation hit us. We were having a baby. Holy crap. We ended up being real buttheads to each other for about a month--then I finally saw what I was doing to us. I went over to talk to him as soon as I could. I told him I was sorry for not being honest with him, I told him everything I was feeling; that I loved him, that I did want to marry him if he still wanted to marry me. Luckily, the man was born with an insane capacity to deal with my shenanigans and the most patience I have ever witnessed. A week later we were engaged, two weeks after that we were married. Hey, what can I say--we are fast movers in this family.
Letting Daniel in and letting him love me and letting myself love him ---was the best decision I have ever made. It was scary, but what is love if it doesn't make you feel alive!?! That's how I feel when I think about my love for Daniel. It fills my whole self with warm fuzzy feelings. When I am my angriest at him, I sit down and write down what I love about him, what I am thankful for about him and exactly how I felt when that picture up there was taken. There has never been a time where that doesn't calm me down, I still may be upset about the fight, but it definitely reminds me that there is a person behind the fight that I love very very much.
I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about Daniel. He doesn't believe in soul-mates, but I do. I think we were meant to be together. I think we are perfect for one each other and I truly think God gave me Daniel in the moment when I needed him most. He fills the gaps I can't and I do the same for him. He is patient where I have none. I am sensible about money where he isn't. We are truly a yin and yang couple. I think we compliment each other well. The only thing is, we both got a heavy dose of stubbornness. That gets in the way sometimes, but our love always wins out, and it always will. I feel insanely lucky to be married to him (even when he doesn't put his socks in the laundry hamper).
We made decisions that made our first year of marriage ridiculously hard: newlyweds, a baby and the military? We were just asking for trouble. But that first year or so taught us a lot and we got through some crazy stuff that made us stronger individually and together. Each year we get better and better and I love his man more and more.
He is an amazing father and has the best and cutest relationship with his daughter have ever seen. Seeing how much he loves Gracie, makes the love I have for him boil over the top. I can't wait to see him with his son.
I can't wait for this next stage of our lives, and I can't wait to grow old with this man. I can't wait to live in the eternities with this man. I thank God every single day for this man. He is an answer to every one of my prayers.
I'll love him forever.
And to think, I owe it all to Harry Potter ;)