But that's not how life works.
This next year is going to be so very tough. So many things I thought this year would hold...it won't. A new lawn, Daniel starting school, a new baby, a family vacation...none of those things will be happening. Not for a long time. It just sucks and it is hard to not be angry about the life that is being put on hold for this deployment.
But, there is always a reason for everything. There is growth that is going to happen. Maybe it's to learn how strong I can be.
I really rely on Daniel for a good portion of my "safe" feeling. I didn't realize that until he was gone on his first TDY. He truly makes me feel safe and comfortable. So maybe this time is for me to learn that I can rely on myself, too.
I don't know. I am looking for the lesson, I guess.
I know that the kids and I will get closer, and I am grateful for that. Though thinking about how much time I will be spending with them...reminds me about how much time they aren't spending with Daniel. Then my heart goes into my butt.
I hear this gets more bearable. I am still waiting for that time.
I bet you can guess what I wished for. I hope it comes true.