Monday, May 16, 2016


My birthday came and went. It was such a big cloudy day really because I knew Daniel would be leaving after my birthday. So, I didn't want my birthday to end because I didn't want him to leave. If only it could stay my birthday forever and he could stay here.


But that's not how life works.

This next year is going to be so very tough. So many things I thought this year would won't. A new lawn, Daniel starting school, a new baby, a family vacation...none of those things will be happening. Not for a long time. It just sucks and it is hard to not be angry about the life that is being put on hold for this deployment. 

But, there is always a reason for everything. There is growth that is going to happen. Maybe it's to learn how strong I can be.

I really rely on Daniel for a good portion of my "safe" feeling. I didn't realize that until he was gone on his first TDY. He truly makes me feel safe and comfortable. So maybe this time is for me to learn that I can rely on myself, too.

I don't know. I am looking for the lesson, I guess.

I know that the kids and I will get closer, and I am grateful for that. Though thinking about how much time I will be spending with them...reminds me about how much time they aren't spending with Daniel. Then my heart goes into my butt.

I hear this gets more bearable. I am still waiting for that time.

I bet you can guess what I wished for. I hope it comes true.

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Thanks for taking the time to say something back! :) One sided conversations are never any fun! :) Thanks for reading!