Friday, May 13, 2016

Filling the Time

The nights are the hardest part about Daniel being gone. I am used to him being gone during the day and late into the afternoon. But, when it is time for dinner, baths and bedtime...I know I am missing someone. Still, I am able to bustle through the bedtime routine and get the kids down. I have a system and it's working pretty well so far.

The problem is after all that. The house is silent and I am by myself. I am sort of on sensory overload since Daniel has been gone. Being the only person for the kids to focus ALL OF THEIR ENERGY ON has been exhausting for me. So you think I would love being alone at night. And part of me does, I mean, I have time to blog and do whatever I want. But when I think about WHY I have that time, because Daniel isn't there to fill it, then I get really sad.

The other night I just started crying. For no reason! I had just sat down to eat (for the first time that day. Whoooops.) and I just started sobbing. Oi. Looking forward to random crying sessions ending...

Anyway, I have to fill that void or I just cry. So I clean, do laundry, blog, watch mind-numbing TV, or I text my sister. But sometimes...the house is clean. The laundry is done. I have nothing to blog. There is nothing on TV. My sister isn't available. I have nothing to do and the loneliness just seeps in.

I got a bug up my butt one day about learning how to do fancy royal icing sugar cookies. I have been wanting to for awhile, even talked to Daniel about it, the whole 9 yards. But 1) I didn't have time and 2) I was scared it would be super hard and I would feel like a freaking idiot.

I knew that it would definitely fill up the night hours so I called Mama C (my second mother-in-law:A lady Daniel grew up with is basically his second mom. Love her!) because she does them and got heaps of advice. I set out to Hobby Lobby came home and got my bake on.

It helps that I had a purpose behind baking them though. I wanted to get the ballet girls in Gracie's class some decorated cookies for the recital. But there is basically NO ONE that does them where I live. There is ONE bakery that does them and they don't do them detailed. They were super simple and they wanted $40 for 12. I was like...naaah. Let me try first. I watched four million cookie tutorials and bugged Mama C allll night. But I did it!

I made EVERYTHING you see here, including the little rosettes. The cookie recipe is AWESOME. Holds up well in the oven so I wasn't worried about them losing shape in the oven. 

They aren't perfect by any means. Danny kept grabbing at my legs while I was trying to frost these things. I did the backgrounds with sandwich baggies because my frosting tips were dirty from doing the rosettes and I was too lazy, so the lines aren't as straight as they could be. 

But I also had a LOT of issues with icing consistency. I figured it out by the time I got to the ruffles. But that was the last step LOL.

I know I will figure out the icing as I keep going though, so I am optimistic!

These were just the testers (to make sure I could even do it!) so I will be making new ones for the recital and hopefully it will be a lot easier and I won't have the issues I did last time.

Regardless, I am grateful for the distraction.

I seem to have found myself a new hobby!

---->>> If any other sugar cookie decorators read this: What do you do with all the cookies you make? I know the youtubers and such make them all the time--HOW?! I have so many cookies! I couldn't imagine doing this every day with no intended purpose for them! 


  1. I like playing with royal icing. So far I have never done them without a purpose. I think they take WAY too much time and effort to do just for the heck of it. And to be honest I don't love the taste of royal icing so I don't make them that often. I love how they look but when I am picking what to make usually taste wins in the end.

  2. You are seriously so freaking talented! I'm glad you found something to fill the time. I know it can be rough... but one foot in front of the other.


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