I knew that this deployment would be an adjustment for Grace but I didn't think it would be too hard because she is young and is easily distracted.
The other night we were praying before bedtime, she prayed "to bless to keep Daddy safe" like she always does. She then got into her bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment she then said to me: "My daddy isn't coming home anymore"
She had such a sad expression on her face. It broke my heart.
I reminded her of the timeline of when Daniel would be home, hoping to lift her spirits and she just said "Mommy, that's forever a time."
Oh my gosh, guys. Absolutely broke my heart. That was the first time she ever expressed here disappointment over the time factor. That girl is so whip smart. She doesn't understand time so much, but she knows her daddy is going to be gone for a long time and that makes her sad.
Then her sunbeams teacher posted this:
I held it together pretty well until I read this.
She is independently remembering Daniel and how much she misses him. Unprompted she brings him up, and not just to me.
She has made some comments before, like when I picked her up from her sunbeams class on Sunday she said "My Daddy isn't there today. He's gone."
Or when one of her friends Dad's came to join us at a princess party she said "And my Daddy is coming too, right?" I had to tell her no. Her face fell and she got quiet.
There have been other little things she has said, little chinks in her armor showing. She's a strong little girl, she's so happy all the time that it is easy to think she isn't hurting as much as she is. But finding out that she is telling others, without me there, that she misses Daniel...it broke my heart into pieces.
My little girl is walking wounded and there isn't a darn thing I can do to heal her.
She has to wait for her Daddy to do that and it's killing me.
All I can do is try to give her a love bandaid and give her as much support as I can.
I hope this gets easier for her. I hope this gets easier for all of us.