When I was little, I LOVED Mary Poppins. LOVED her. I still do. It's one of my very favorite movies and the song "Feed the Birds" is the song I sing to my children at bedtime. I'm no Julie Andrews but they seem to like it.
One of my other favorite songs from the show is "A Spoonful of Sugar"
And I used to (in my youth) think this song was literally about helping yourself take medicine. Cherry cough syrup, amirite?!
But now that I am older, I realize that this song is literally about making the best of any situation and finding a spoonful of sugar to make the hard things bearable.
That is just what I have had to do the whole time Daniel has been gone.
But in honesty, it's what I HAVEN'T been doing the past two months.
After Daniel's birthday I got into a super bad funk. Just really down about how hard things are without him here. Then when we got home...
Ya'll. EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE BROKE. Okay, not everything, but it sure felt like it.
My air conditioning broke. My car broke. My faucet broke. My lawn mower broke. I got rear-ended. My sprinklers broke. My fence broke. Danny had to get tubes.
In the military, there is this thing called "The Deployment Fairy" who comes and sprinkles her wand of awful and everything goes wrong while your spouse is gone. That certainly was true for me.
I started to get super resentful of Daniel that he was gone. That I had to deal with all of this on my own. I just started getting super negative and a bit depressed.
I was just in a sad and dark little world of my own.
But then one day, I snapped out of it. (Thanks to a big reality checks.)
I have so much to be grateful for! Yes, this is a ridiculously hard deployment. I never ever ever ever want to do this again. Ever. EVER.
But you know what?
As much as this deployment sucks it's also a good thing.
Before I met Daniel, I was super independent. I could do anything on my own, because I had to. I was a strong woman and I didn't cry. Like...ever. But when I met Daniel, I knew that I could depend on him to be around, I could let my walls down and feel things I hadn't allowed myself to feel. I let those walls down and sort of forgot how to be on my own, especially on my own with two children. I now know I can do hard things. I *know* it.
It gave me a whole new sense of gratitude for Daniel because while I feel like a single parent, I'm not. I don't have to work on top of everything else. How grateful am I because while I am a single parent for the duration of the deployment, I won't be forever. I found a new gratitude for my marriage.
I have a BIG issue with asking for help, and this deployment has definitely taught me how to ask. I've needed it the past two months and I had to ask. I had to make myself vulnerable enough to say "I can't do this on my own right now, I need help." That was a darn hard pill to swallow. But I had a massive spoonful of sugar in all of the women in my life who stepped up to the plate and helped me in my time of need. How grateful am I for strong friends who take on my yoke of burden to make my burdens lighter. I now have a very real appreciation for the amazing friends I have here in Georgia. I don't feel so alone here anymore.
With everything that has broken, there has been someone who is uniquely qualified to fix it in my church. I shudder to think that my first thought was that of frustration rather than that of gratitude.
Dieter F Uchtdorf said we all need to have an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE, and I think that flows right along with a Spoonful of Sugar.
We all of things in life that make life harder. (That's the medicine part.)
But we also have a lot of things in our life that we should be grateful for, things that make our life "sweet". (That's the spoonful of sugar)
I now find myself thinking this tune in my hardest moments of the days.
While I have to swallow a lot of medicine these days, I also have a lot of sugar to help it go down.
Thanks, Mary Poppins